GREEN CREEP

GREEN CREEP

**My worst nightmare came to be. There she was, having sex with a stranger. He was inside my lover. Pity! **



I wish you maintained the energy that I thought was right,

From the first time we met till today's fight,

Wondering why this is a fight, when I should have actually walked out that door 10 minutes ago,

It's sad that you were convinced that I wasn't going to know,



"I can explain...."



The narrative you've always practiced from the first time it fell right,

Switching bodies then lying to "the one" at night,

I didn't sign up for this to be honest,

You were the one I trusted, the one I could come when I'm at my lowest,

Last time I checked the unwritten contract was mutual,

But unwritten terms were discovered when you started acting unusual,

Was a clean agreement so difficult of a task?

Your reasons my dear if I may ask?



"Ummm Aaah...."



Was it the sex?

Was it falling out of love?

Was it for the thrills and spills?

Or the revenge and male vengeance?



"......."

Not enough money for your needs?

No flowers every day?

Nothing to brag about to your friends?

Or the envy of your friends?

The thought of "I can do better"?

Or the fear because you can't love better?



"......."



You spent an hour having sex with a stranger,

But days hiding crimes, I had to play Texas Ranger,

But was it worth it?

Do I really deserve it?

The sacrifices I made to put a smile on your face,

The bitter truth to say, having a woman is like a car to race,

That's not for me to explain,

Let loose, I'm surely in pain,



"I really have nothing to say. But I'm really sorry. It didn't have to be this way. I made a mistake"



Apology. I wish apology could actually heal,

"I'm sorry" the voila, it changes how I actually feel,

But an apology is not what I look for,

Neither you begging, like a dog, walking in all fours,

Would satisfy my soul.

Love is always filled with tidal waves,

You fell off by just the ocean's sway,

It’s okay, I've had my fair share of mistakes,

But lying to "her" is what meant to do whatever it takes,

Makes less sense now since, since she couldn't stay,

Take care now, proceed your penetration ways.



**Leaving**

Closes the door, calmly rather than banging it.



"No, please come back. I take it back...pleaseeeeee!!!

Sheldon Come back, Sheldon!!!! Come back please"



The narrative "love doesn't exist" is a narrative endorsed by damaged souls, energy drainers, narcissists, manipulators and cheaters. Sorry to say. The concept of love itself can't be explained by so many souls out here because they have never allowed themselves to experience it and if so then it was one sided. But hey, who am I to say?



What's love got to do if I don't love myself?

Should I hate myself because she threw it all away?

Should I hate myself for bawling her out?

Should I hate myself for the 7th time it's not working out?

Should I hate myself because I got embarrassed again?

What's love really got to do, if I don't feel for myself?



**Back at the house**

"He says; we still fucking right?"

Wayne The Poet